Buried Love
I thought the days were going by fast,
I thought it was getting so easy, I’d forgotten,
and I thought I was getting over it, but
I’m not.
I continually shove the pain deeper
into my soul, but sometimes
I quietly allow myself to
feel the abandonment.
I won’t allow myself to show you I care,
and there’s no way in hell I’ll let you know
I’m miserable without you.
Yesterday, thoughts of us ran freely through my mind, and
it felt so good to let it all loose.
But this hole in my heart grows greater day by day,
and I’m scared it’s growing so greatly
there won’t be room for you.
I hear her cry herself to sleep
and she tells me how much
she misses your touch.
Nights are the worst for her.
I can hear her whispering your name hoping
some how, some way you’ll hear her and
through some miracle you’ll care.
This heart of mine, she’s such a fool really.
She only listens when she wants, only cares when she’s
able.
She doesn’t understand why you left her,
why you no longer love her,
and why she lost her best friend,
your heart.
She reminisces about a time when
she and yours called to each other, and
secretly giggled while making love.
She recalls your heart crying out to her
in a time of need or despair, and
it comforts her.
She knows it wasn’t always good, but
for one reason or another she doesn’t really seem to care
about the bad times.
All she knows is she misses her lover and friend.
She told me today.
She’ll slowly heal, but earlier
she angrily warned me not to break her into pieces
again.
She screams at me and says
she needs time, and tells me not to allow
anyone into her, not yet.
She says if I do,
she’ll kill herself and
I’ll never know love like ours again,
as long as I shall live.
What I need to figure out the answer to is,
“Do I want to?”
Camden Smith